Well it’s been a long few weeks. Why you might ask? Because I had to sit through the entire first season of The Affair. When it got nominated for a Golden Globe, I decided that I should go against my initial better judgment and watch the show. Now, this may sound like a very harsh first assessment. I will continue by saying that this is not a bad show. It’s actually pretty good (once you get passed the first five episodes that seemed to go nowhere). I’m just aggravated after watching it more than anything.
After the nominations were announced, I sat down and mustered through the first five episodes and though there seemed to be what could be considered as a really good underlying plotline. It was literally two annoying people deciding to have an affair with each other. Trust me, I have no love for Noah or Alison and if you want me to talk about how beautiful their relationship was……just stop reading right now.
So we know they are being questioned and we also know someone died. Within time we actually find out that it is Scott how died…..poor, poor Scott but after the whole season we still don’t find out who killed him. We really don’t know much about who killed him especially seeing as the only information we get is through the eyes of two very delusional people. Please can next season be through the eyes of Cole and Helen?
Which leads me to the real unsung heroes of the story…..the people who got cheated on. Now Noah-Alison supporters may start their arguments with “hey, Cole’s a drug dealer”…..um, so was Jesse Pinkman and he’s still known as one of the most beloved characters in television history but I digress. Cole was just a troubled man who lost his son…..and who didn’t start to have an affair to deal with the pain. So one leg up on Alison eh? And don’t even get me started on Helen who is the only true victim in this story. The fact that she hasn’t murdered Noah in his sleep is the biggest accomplishment of the year.
So what’s my issue with this show? It’s interesting (once the ball got rolling) I’ll give it that. Families are all sorts of messed up, there’s a murder mystery taking place and Cole and Helen are just wonderful characters to root for. But here’s the issue…..you’re supposed to root for Noah and Alison. Or at least care what they do or feel for each other. They are both awful and ungrateful pieces of sh*t. Pardon my French. And this is not because they cheated. I mean that doesn’t help but it’s because they are just terrible people who only care about themselves and could care less who gets hurt in the process because they found a weird version of love.
I could go on and on about how terrible of people those two are but it might get tiresome. In the finale, we finally get to see things all come to a head……in the most different versions of the story ever. By the way, that’s another thing…..Noah and Alison have to be compulsive liars because their stories rarely match up. Anyways, essentially in both stories Cole has a gun aimed at Noah. In Alison’s story, he aims it at Noah’s family, Alison herself and himself as well. All I wanted was to see Cole blow Noah and Alison’s brains out. That’s a bad sign right? Or maybe he shoots Alison and then tosses the gun to Helen to shoot Noah? Poetic justice if you ask me. Oh well, that’s not how things went down. Either he stopped himself or Alison stopped him (not really clear on which) and then Alison and Noah decide to live happily ever after. Awwww…..BLEH. I’m just so thrilled these two assholes found love together. Maybe they can Thelma and Louise off a cliff sometime in the near future?
But that just doesn’t happen. They get to both go on with each other and live their super happy lives leaving the shambles of everyone who once loved them behind. It’s pretty disgusting to watch…..until the detective finally shows up to arrest Noah……..for Scott’s murder. Yes! How exciting. Now all I want is for Season Two to revolve around Cole and Helen to figure out that Noah and Alison did in fact murder Scott. OR! They could have murdered Scott to frame Noah for the murder. Wouldn’t that just be grand? Though, that does seem a little far-fetched. Well, anyways…..I will probably keep myself updated on Season Two but might not actually watch every episode of it…..especially if they are still going to use the nauseating perspectives of Noah and Alison. Then there is “Noah” way I’m watching it. See what I did there? Oh, puns.